The Republicans have entered meltdown mode over the Franken victory in Minnesota.  These Neo Cons are only happy with election results they can steal or otherwise manipulate.  The frenzy over at Fox “News” is especially frantic, their lead commentary on the Fox News website authored by Andrea Tantaros, states “The left seeks to drastically alter every aspect of our life and now they have the support of a clown to help them succeed (GOP: we’ve officially hit bottom). Franken is as far-left as they come, a unique strain of irrational progressive that can only be created by the world of celebrity.” Wow, that’s just SO fair and balanced reporting, it’s amazing?  How did I ever question the total lack of bias at this upstanding and reputable news organization?

Brian Kilmeade on the Fox “News” morning show exclaimed his personal angst over the Franken win, stating “it hurts” to call Franken a senator, then adding “who’s safe now?”  You felt less safe under Obama than Bush, and now less safe with Franken over Coleman?  What’s wrong, Brian?  You worried Franken is going to come over to Fox and get all Stuart Smalley on your ass?  How scary is he?  According to Media Matters, Kilmeade continued his denial of Franken’s victory, stating: “I’m trying to black this out.”  Good luck with that.  I’ve been trying to black out the existence of Fox “News” for years.

Glen “pass the gasoline can” Beck explained the Franken victory by declaring that the nation had gone crazy and we’d “lost our minds.”  Sean “the Baby Jesus” Hannity suggested that Franken was “not all there” and hinted at voter fraud, as did Gretchen Carlson, who falsely claimed that Norm Coleman had “originally won the election.”  No, sweetie, you’re confusing Norm with Al Gore back in 2000.

Bill “falafel me” O’Reilly is on vacation (watch out women everywhere for a 6-ft-tall egomaniac brandishing a loofah, a bowl of tzaseeki sauce, and a video camera!), but one can imagine the millions of tiny, bright explosions that are erupting under his receding hair follicles when the Franken victory was announced.  He probably had to call Limbaugh’s housekeeper for some pharmaceutical assistance to get him through the night.

In a similar, but unrelated story, GOP leader Michael Steele is accusing Democrats of the ability to “basically steal elections at their whim.”  Steele was a guest on Hugh Hewitt’s radio program last night when he stated “the Democrats have spent the last six to eight years building in place an infrastructure to allow them to basically hijack elections at their whim.” He added that “they have activities by groups like  an ACORN (sic), or individuals like George Soros through their funding, to help them augment the taking of these elections.”

Excuse me, did you mean to say “Republicans” when you said “Democrats?”  What the heck do you think Rove and his lesser minions – like you – engineered back in 2000 and 2004, Mr. Swiftboat Hanging Chad?  How many voter fraud/repression examples would you like to prove the hypocritical inanity of your accusation?  How many examples of vote count “random” errors that were always skewed in favor of the Republican candidate?

If there’s one thing Neo Cons are experts at, it’s election fraud.  That, and whining like infants and throwing full-throttle toddler-tantrums when elections don’t turn out their way and they can’t successfully cheat and steal a victory from the rightful winner, like Al Franken.  For once, Republicans, move on like adults . . .if you can.

I Double-dog-dare ‘ya.

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