I, Bill, take you, Daffy . . .

Ike TexasThere ought to be a new reality TV show, let’s call it “Keeping Up with the Crazies,” starring everyone associated with Fox “News.”  It’s not bad enough that their only potentially credible host, Greta Van Susteran, has taken her obsession with the Palin family to new lengths by intercepting reporters who wanted to speak with “The First Dude.”   That’s just weird.  But now Bill O’Reilly has upped the ante on sheer nuttiness by suggesting that legalizing same-sex marriage would allow someone to wed a turtle.

O’Reilly’s fascination with bestiality seems focused on water animals, as he has previously commented that gay marriage could lead to a union between a human being and a duck, or a dolphin.  He did not posit whether or not the happy couple would honeymoon at Sea World.

Can you imagine what would happen if Chris Matthews said something this ridiculous?  Or Wolf Blitzer?  But hey, this is Fox “News,” what do you expect? Nobody gets freaked out when one of its stars pours fake gasoline on a guest, or brings on members of the mafia to explain how Obama’s administration is akin to a crime syndicate.  But it’s high time they stop selling themselves as any kind of “News” organization.  It’s a comedy channel.  And the number of former Bush administration clowns that make regular appearances only validates this fact.

This article has 6 comments

  1. oldmanihisunderwear

    “Well, if I took you down there then I’d want to take a shower with you right away, that would be the first think I’d do..yeah, we’d check into the room, and we would order up some room service and uh and you’d definitely get two bottles of wild duck in you as quickly as I could get get into you I would get’em into you… maybe intravenously, I’d get that wild duck into you..
    You would basically be in the shower and then I would come in and smooth your feathers, kinda fluff em’ up, you know.. and you would have your little tail facing me and I would take that little loofa thing and kinda’ soap up your backside and feathers…rub it all over your little duck body, get you to relax, hot water (“Quack!)..and um..you know, you’d feel the tension drain out of you and uh you still would be with your little tail to me then I would kinda’ put my arm..it’s one of those mitts, those loofa mitts you know, so I got my hands in it..and I would put it around front, kinda rub your cute little duck breast a little bit with it, and then with my other hand I would start to massage your breast, get your little duck bill all hard..cuz I like that and you have a really spectacular breast…
    So anyway I’d be rubbing your big breast and getting your bill really hard, kinda’ kiss your little duck head from behind..and then I would take the other hand with the falafel (sic) thing and I’d put it on your little duck pussy but you’d have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business..

  2. Rick in Mesa (druid)

    Olberman showed a video of some right wing nut job proclaiming “Galileo would have died anyway” in the context of debating the church’s actions that have hindered scientific progress.

    In that video was another gem that Olberman did not even mention. in that discussion, one person proclaimed that Reagan actually got rid of nuclear weapons in Russia. Supposedly the wall came down and Russia dismantled their arsenal.


  3. dreamon

    America is a Warsaw Ghetto, it is an island prison, and when videos and sound tracks of children screaming as they are being sodomized by America’s finest are seen and heard, nothing will happen, nothing at all. The right wingers will all praise Jesus and say it is what non-Christians deserve for their failure to love Jesus and the left will say, it is their karma. We are a prison population, a slave population. Haven’t you heard? Protest and dissent is illegal, to speak one’s mind or act from conscience is now an act of terrorism.

    Eric Holder made his money from defending the Central American goon squads of United Fruit, organizations that used rape and murder as social policy. He won’t do a damn thing, either. The odds are three against seven. Thirty percent voted democratic, the rest either republican or apathetic. Seventy percent, the majority of Americans either endorse, approve, or have no opinion regarding war, torture or the rape of children. Think about it…a lot easier, even cheaper to just round up the thirty percent and either enslave, imprison, or erase them than for the “moral majority,” to care. After all, they’re already dead.

  4. Sashafan

    Bill O’Reillly’s pathetic “turtle” comment is bad enough in and of itself, but it isn’t even completely original. Here in Texas we are saddled with the worst of the worst of Senators, John Cornyn, who said, as shown below:

    July 13, 2004

    John Cornyn: Gays = Box Turtles

    By Byron LaMasters

    Occationally, you have to give Andrew Sullivan a little credit. He found this gem about our Junior Senator in Texas:

    “It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right. . . . Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife.”

    — Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.), advocating a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage in a speech Thursday to the Heritage Foundation.

    It seems the only thing O’Reilly didn’t mention was the “box.”

  5. GordonOKC

    That jerk, O’Reilly is so dense that he’s rendered incapable to grasp the concept of marriage between two consenting adults who would otherwise meet the all of the legal qualifications for marriage except for gender.

    For over ten years Scandinavian Countries have granted same sex marriage. There no reports of any issues regarding interspecies relationships in any of these countries.

    Canada did the same four years ago. Last Autumn did O’Reilly witness any ducks migrating south with their human partners? Of course not. This just proves that he and all the others in the pious right wing echo chamber who repeat this ridiculous myth are as full of ___ (rhymes with it) as a Christmas Goose.

    More dangerously, Bill O’Reilly has some rather unhinged fans. How will this dehumanizing of a segment of our population play out should someone decide to take action? Three words: Jim David Adkisson.

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