Palm Readers

How bout dem SAINTS?!  The Saints v Colts battle last night almost makes you forget about the other significant standoff, the one between the Teabag conventioneers in Nashville and relatively normal Americans. Tea Party Patron Saint Palin wowed the crowd with her folksy one liners and jabs at Obama’s “immoral” budget.  Wow – what does that say about George “Raisin Brain” Bush’s morality, as he turned all the Clinton surpluses into trillion-dollar deficits. Must make him The Anti-Christ by comparison.

One thing Sister Sarah seems to have in common with the Texas Mensa Man is the penchant of jotting down handy crib-notes on various body parts.  Sarah was asked a simple, pre-scripted question: “What are your top three priorities?”  By the time she got to # 2 Simple Sarah was seen reading her own palm for phrase reminders on “budget cuts,” “energy,” and “Lift America’s Spirits.”  That’s the kind of grade-school cheat sheet she needed just  to answer silly softball questions from her adoring fans.  Granted, that’s a step above Dim Son’s scrawling on his arm reminding him to “chew the pretzel before swallowing,”  but think about this – she was just a bump-it updo away from becoming VP and just a few malignant melanoma cells from the Oval Office itself . . .  [shudder] those scribbles could’ve been launch codes for the football . . . think about that the next time you see an old McCain/Palin bumper sticker.

I’m hoping the pit bull in lipstick with the gloves off and the high-heels on stops taking jabs about Obama and the TelePrompTer, unless she’s ready to take hits on invisible ink, highlight markers, and handi-wipes.

As for the rest of the meeting of the mini-minds in Tennessee?  The mass congregation of Birthers, Deathers, Teabaggers, and gun-hugging pseudo-Christians ranted and howled their rally cry for a NEW AMERICA, loudly detailing their agenda to rid this country of all the unsavory elements (Obama) that so offend their very white noses.  The overt racism, homophobia, anti-science-rapture-ready-Red-scare-style paranoia was disturbing in its commonplace acceptability, as The Telegraph reports:

Tom Tancredo, a former Republican congressman and anti-illegal immigration campaigner, told the audience in Nashville that Obama was elected by people “who could not spell the word vote or say it in English”. If only segregation-era literacy tests had been in place, this “committed socialist” would not have won. Another speaker, Joseph Farrah of, questioned whether the President was born in the United States and was qualified to hold the highest office. A lifelong Republican who has worked for two presidents, told me that “race is part of it, especially down South”. “These are people uncomfortable with the country becoming more diverse, more mulatto, and Obama represents that.”The Nashville crowd was 99.9 per cent white, and 90 per cent middle aged and above.

If the Teabaggers are this successful at making the hating of minorities so mainstream again, then we should be afraid.

How do you like your Dark Ages?  With or without medieval torture chambers, “Christian” crusades and commie-liberal witch hunts?  Want another funnel cake at the Freedom March and Flesh-Flaying Festival?  How ’bout just the bucket of boiling oil?

This article has 9 comments

  1. Jon

    Who was it that said, and of course I am paraphrasing, that one day the people would elect an absolute idiot as president? I forget. But, I thought Bush was it. But maybe we can outdo ourselves. Palin would set a whole new bar of idiot.

  2. Blair

    Don’t forget that Caribou Barbie was saying that Obama could save his presidency by “playing the war card”. If he bombed Iran the people would get behind him. Fer fuck sake, what a stupid bitch!

  3. Michele

    You can make fun of “Sister Sarah” all you want but, honestly, I find her terrifying. The frenzied popular appeal of her deceptive pro-America rhetoric is the frightening product of the dumbing down of America. Beneath her folksy one liners is a DICTATOR. She is the Anti-Christ in drag.

  4. Chad Johnson

    You have your absolute idiot right now. Obama is the most empty of polyester suits. How about those hundreds of pictures of himself posted in the White House? What a simple, Democratic joke. Here lies your true deceptive pro-America rhetoric. Right there in all his “me, me, me” speeches. Absolute idiot.

  5. Troll

    Lefties laughing at and dismissing the nutty right is just as stooopit as righties laughing at and dismissing the nutty left. The dangerously stupid ones on both sides share the blame for the impasse. Or, is that too simple minded from someone who is independent and bored to death with the silly civil war you children are playing?

    Sarah Palin and her ilk have as many blind followers as do her counterparts on the left. Both sides have folks apparently living on another planet. It may give you a personal tickle to point and laugh, but it just shows you to be another naive, insecure child.

    Much better to close your mouth and open both ears and try to understand all sides, then try to find a more reasonable position, somewhere nearer the middle. Stop taking the easy way out and mindlessly attack the easy target. There are substantial arguments on both sides. To point and laugh is a really good way for you to avoid trying to help find a compromise between the the adults.

  6. Jon

    These right wingers are such little puppies. Do as they are told. Say what they are told to say. I feel sorry for them. Like Chad.

    They are the epitome of the dennis leary ‘asshole’ song. Sad little guys…but they do love death.

  7. Naomi

    Do not lump all anti-illegal aliens with the crazies on the right. I am a life long democrat and am very anti-amnesty in any form. I have seen our schools in chaos, our hospitals close, our crime soar and our economy destroyed. I would like to see tougher laws and the ones we have enforced! Tom Brokaw did a special a few years ago in which he stated quite firmly, that 25% are criminal element, another 25% are just here for a paycheck and want to go back to Mexico & open a taquaria. The remaining 50% think they deserve special dispensation and should not have to get in line or pay fees or fines! This kind of arrogance is only surpassed by their ignorance. Live in Houston for awhile, the largest sanctuary city next to the border, you will see with a quickness!

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